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Sarcastic quotes about life
Sarcastic quotes about life




sarcastic quotes about life

If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.” - Unknown. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” -Rodney Dangerfield

  • “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years.
  • It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” -Rita Rudner.

    sarcastic quotes about life

    “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” -Will Ferrell.They can also be cathartic ways of letting go of a toxic relationship – sometimes quotes like these can express more than you believed. These love quotes are great to use for an anniversary social media post, a love letter, or just for fun. These quotes seek out the funny side of loving relationships, from their ups to their downs, and everything in between. Love and marriage may go together like a horse and carriage, but sometimes even the happiest relationships need a bit of help. “Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends.” -Larry Wilde.

    sarcastic quotes about life

    “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” -Johnny Carson.“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” -Phyllis Diller.“ This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.“ Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.Trust us when we say you’ll be on the ‘nice’ list for years to come. Drink eggnog, post a photo with your loved ones, and add some Christmas cheer with a funny quote from below. These quotes are relatable and hilarious, whether y’s about ordering gifts online, office parties, or spreading cheer. Sure, there is great food and heaps of presents, but one of the best ways to bring joy to the season is by adding some humor under the Christmas tree. It’s the most wonderful time of year for many. “I told my boyfriend I was going to start my period, and he said, “AGAIN?” It’s like, you know what, you’re right, I’m cancelling my subscription.” “D o people who run know that we’re not food anymore ?” Funny Christmas Quotes.“ When parents say to kids “go to your room & think about what you’ve done” it’s really good practice for what you’ll do every night as an adult.“In a thousand years archaeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment” “ Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Me, as an adult: Hey, I’m on that medication.” mommajessiec.We’ve added the user’s tags too, just in case you want to give them credit for their clever thoughts! Just send them to a friend, use them as a caption for a social post, or just read it to yourself when you need a giggle. You don’t need to have a specific reason to use them. The social media platform has been the home to thousands of side-splitting quotes, and here is a tiny little snippet of them. There’s nothing quite like a hilarious tweet. “ Best friend: the one that you can be mad at only for a short period of time because you have important stuff to tell them.They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public. “ We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.“ Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking, “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” -Chandler (Matthew Perry), Friends. Relatable and witty, they can apply to a wide variety of instances, no matter how long you’ve been buddies. On the days where you want to remind them of your appreciation, or if you just need to get them to smile, these quotes will certainly do the trick. They’re with you through thick and thin, so they’re the best person to turn to if you need a good laugh. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’ em later.” -Mitch Hedberg. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man.The trouble was, it was my own.”-Les Dawson. “I used to sell furniture for a living.“Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.”-Anonymous.Then, by all means, follow that path.”- Ellen DeGeneres. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost, and you see a path. Then I want to move in with them.” -Phyllis Diller “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford.From celebrities to famous quotes from anonymous people, there is something to give you a chuckle or two! Share these with someone who needs a bit of cheering up or if you need to give yourself a boost. These quotes encapsulated the trials and tribulations that happen to everyone, but keep it light and cheery and tickle your funny bone. From kids to new journeys, there’s always a way to find humor in it.






    Sarcastic quotes about life